Karen Stein’s Be Your Own Leadership Coach is a practical guide for leaders to build their leadership skills using self-coaching techniques.
The book is broken into 12 practices that leadership can employ to build their leadership skills and coach oneself. It is a DIY-leadership coaching book using evidence, examples and set of exercises.
Even while reading the book, I learnt several techniques that I have already started employing in my daily work. Some detailed notes below (favourite chapters are starred ):
Leadership comes in different forms. There is only one way to lead, and that is to ‘lead just like you.’ This chapter focuses on identifying your values, strengths and purpose; and align them together to help you lead your way.
This is perhaps the most important chapter and sets up for the rest of the book. Understanding oneself is key to lead people, projects, and/or organisation.
Build your goals that are value-aligned with your beliefs and preferences. Break down your long-term goals into short-term SMART goals. The chapter delves into how to set goals.
This chapter focuses on becoming motivated. The motivation is spectrum that ranges from external (I must do it) to intrinsic (I’d love to). If you align the goals more closely with your values, it moves from being external to you, to where you would like to pursue your goals.
The best leaders are those who are self-aware. Schedule time for quality self-reflection — around 30–60 minutes each week for personal reflection time. Some ways to build self reflection: - What is working well this week?
- What should I be doing differently?
- What has triggered my behaviours, emotions and thoughts?
- What I need to do and what am I doing to achieve long-term success?
Research shows that the way other people see us is more objective than the way we see ourselves. Feedback helps you identify blind spots. Get feedback from people like direct reports, manager, peers. Set-up quarterly feedback with each of the members.
When you reflect on feedback, create learning goals around it. If the feedback is generalised, ask questions to better understand the meaning. Seek examples when getting feedback. Take notes and remain present to absorb their insights. Ideally, do not push back. Instead, sit with it. If you do not agree, discuss with others to see if it is something they can also see in you.
Being busy has become the new vogue. But business affects collaboration, creativity, productivity. There are a few ways to manage your time better: - Delegate - Planful pausing - Learning to say no — It is difficult to say no. Provide context to people when someone asks for additional task. Be very honest with your team.
- Lightly planning your day means better use of time.
There are four components of energy management:
- Physical capacity eat right, sleep right, exercise.
- Emotional capacity: notice, name and act on your emotions; see how your energy and morale levels are; and focus on the type of work based on the mood; express gratitude; show compassion for yourself and others; think about three things that you did well each day.
- Mental capacity : schedule deliberate breaks between meetings to release your cognitive burden and free up your energy for the next task at hand.
- Spiritual capacity: take breaks; write your purpose statement
A mentor tells, a coach asks and a sponsor advocates. Build a personal board of directors. It will help fast-track your career and more likely to have success in achieving your goals.
Mentors are helpful when you are seeking advice or wanting to learn from other’s wisdom and experience.
Identifying a mentor: Assess what you are hoping to learn form their mentorship. Build a relationship with them. Set expecations during the first session — what would you want mentorship in, how often to meet, and who will be scheduling the meeting.
In reverse mentoring, learn skills from your juniors.
There are four lenses to improve your leadership impact: (1) visibility — show that you are doing work and make yourself visible to the team. Embrace technology and create videos. Be seen when things get tough. (2) Build trust
Get to know your team members: (1) what are their hopes, dreams and goals look like; (2) which of their strengths could be utilised; (3) what motivates them; (4) what opportunities I can create this month; (5) what skills need to be developed; (6) share gratitude on the work done by them
How to become a better listener? Ask open ended questions; listen to understand and not to reply; How to show you are listening? Facial experessions, paraphrasing, avoid distractions.
Radical candour is a communication technique that involves a combination of caring personally and challenging directly. This requires you to clearly communicate what needs to be improved as well as outlining the support that might be available to assist the person.
Be tough on issues, but kind to people. Build togetherness in the team; create an environment where people focus on the process of learning rather than being fixated on the outcome; build autonomy and competencies;